Initiative Amoeba Is On The Move

SEATTLE - The initiative amoeba is on the move again.

Tim Eyman, the one-celled, protoplasmic purveyor of political imperfection, is already hawking his new money making scheme.

Lucky me, I'm privy to his e-mailed ramblings, which I open with about the same enthusiasm as those offerings that proclaim I can have my penis enlarged.

So it is that I read Timmy's breathless explanation of how he's now going to galvanize the electorate this time: with local and state government performance audits.


That's Timmy's new income-generating idea.

Good thing there's no performance audit of his work.

Three of Timmy's last 4 initiatives didn't even make the ballot, and the one that did went down in flames this week.

Timmy paid himself $3,100 a week for that debacle.

I'm sure he'd say it was a bargain.

But hey, as long a Timmy can get people to write him checks, he'll keep writing e-mails about all he's done, even if he hasn't really done squat.

I don't know if you've ever seen the jelly-like cytoplasm of an amoeba.

If not, train your eyes on Tim Eyman and let me know if you can see right through him.

Want to share your thoughts with Ken Schram? You can e-mail him at

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