Police: Harmonica-playing, chocolate-giving liquor thief arrested
SEATTLE -- It's a man's reported theft of liquor that got him nabbed last Friday, but it's his love of the harmonica and habit of giving chocolate to "broads" that stole our hearts.
According to the Seattle Police Department's report for the incident, the prominently bearded suspect was loitering outside the Ballard BevMo! for a long time Friday evening when an employee finally asked him if he was going to shop.
When the suspect told her he wasn't, she asked him to leave. According to the report, he responded by saying, "I do whatever the [expletive] I want to do, [expletive]," before playing a harmonica right in her face.
The employee later told officers she went back into the store to call 911 then watched as the suspect walked in, grabbed two bottles of Jameson -- a $68 value -- and walked right back out again.
Officers arrived and got surveillance images of the suspect and started asking around about him. Security staff told officers the suspect lives near the Ballard post office. Area transients said he frequents a place on Leary and has been seen passed out at the post office.
A few hours later, officers found the suspect near Eighth Avenue Northwest and Northwest 48th Street. According to the report, he was sitting with an open Four Loko in one hand and a crack pipe in the other. He reportedly "smelled strongly of alcohol and appeared to be in a good mood."
I'm going to let Officer Heller take it over here, because I couldn't possibly phrase what happened next better than he did:
"[The suspect] asked what he could do for me and offered to play me a song. I asked if, perchance, he would use a harmonica for this. He expressed surprise and asked me how I guessed. When I explained how I guessed and showed him an image from the surveillance footage I had on my cellphone, he made a disappointed noise and hung his head."
According to the report, the suspect tried to finish his Four Loko before he was handcuffed.
In addition to wire cutters, pliers and a wrench, the suspect had chocolates on him. He reportedly told officers he gives the chocolates to "broads."
According to the report, the suspect told officers he stole the liquor -- which was never found -- because the woman at BevMo! was mean to him.
He was booked into King County Jail for investigation of burglary.