The man, who has only been identified as a 35-year old, was dining out Saturday evening at a South Lake Union restaurant when the problems started.
Police say the man ate a plate of fish and chips and washed it down with four "very expensive" Scotch whiskeys. When it was time to settle up and pay the $226.92 bill, the man's credit card was repeatedly declined.
He offered to leave his laptop and car keys as collateral, but the wait staff said they needed the cash. Police say he didn't take the news well and his behavior became "bizarre and erratic."
It was then that the man let the waiters in on a secret: He was a member of the Sicilian mafia and was going to come back to the bar and "whack everyone," according to police.
When that didn't work, the man changed course and said he was also a member of the CIA. Unimpressed, the wait staff said they still needed him to pay his bill.
Police say the man then made a run for the door. He even took a swing at an employee who tried to get in his way, but the worker was able to dodge the punch, according to police.
The man made it out of the restaurant and began running down the street with restaurant employees hot on his heels. The workers soon caught up with and restrained the man until police arrived.
As officers took the suspect into custody, he informed the staff that "this isn't over" and announced he would return to the restaurant, according to police.
He was booked into King County Jail on suspicion of theft, assault and harassment.