Accused SPU gunman's journal: 'I'll see you in Hell'

SEATTLE -- A newly-released journal sheds new light onto the violent fantasies of accused Seattle Pacific University gunman Aaron Ybarra.

The seven page journal, released Tuesday evening by King County prosecutors, begins with a drawing of a pentagram and the words, "God betrayed them like he betrayed me."

The first official entry, dated May 27, begins with the sentence, "Sometime by the end of this week or the begaining (sic) of next week, I will express how I really feel about humanity, America and the world it's self (sic)."

Ybarra, 26, is accused of fatally shooting a 19-year-old Seattle Pacific University student and wounding two others on June 5. Ybarra was stopped by a student building monitor who pepper-sprayed and tackled him as he reloaded his shotgun, authorities said.

In addition to the shotgun, police say, Ybarra was armed with a hunting knife and carried more than 50 rounds of ammunition.

In his journal, Ybarra writes about being frustrated by his ongoing mental health issues.

"2 and a half years in psychotherapy and 2 years in psychiatry and didn't help (sic). I had a high leval (sic) of stress that made me a little crazy and not myself," he wrote on May 27.

He later writes of being diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, but says the problem is at a "higher level" than people think. He writes that his family forcing him to see a therapist caused him "depression and problems," and that he only went to "get everyone off my back."

In later journal entries, Ybarra wrote about specific people he wanted to harm. He singled out a patron at the Getaway bar who he describes as "that (expletive) in the cowboy hat, that ungreatful (sic) son of a whore," he wrote in a May 30 entry. Later in the same entry, Ybarra says of the cowboy, "If I get a chance, I will poison your beer when you and the others are not looking."

As the days go by, the journal begins to focus more and more on violence and Ybarra's plan to shoot college students.

On June 2, he writes, "I use (sic) to always hate violence towards women, but there is no doubt that I'm going to kill quite a few in the shootout. I don't care anymore."

Ybarra also writes about how he came to target Seattle Pacific University. He said he thought about shooting students at Washington State University, but decided he couldn't make it there without his parents becoming suspicious.

The same reasoning applied to Eastern Washington University. He also looked at Seattle Central College, the University of Washington and Seattle University.

"I picked Seattle Pacific because I'm less familiar with it and can see that (the) University of Washington and Seattle University represent Seattle more. I didn't want to have to attack my own city," he wrote on June 2.

Once he decided to target SPU, Ybarra went to the school "to get info and find a good area to attack." He writes of meeting two female students who showed him around campus and says "because they showed me around the campus without me asking them to, I will single them out of the shooting if I see them."

In his final entry on June 5 -- the day of the shooting -- Ybarra writes, "This is it! I can't believe I'm finally doing this! So exciting I'm jumpy." He goes on to reference the Columbine High School killers and the Virginia Tech shooter as his "idols" and vows to go through with the shooting no matter what.

"No matter how cute the girl is and no matter how cool the guy is, I just want people to die! And I'm going to die with them," he wrote on the day of the shooting.

He concludes the journal by saying that he's not asking for forgiveness and that he's doing some people a favor "by sending them to heaven."

"But for those who are sinners like me," he writes,"I'll see you in Hell."

Read the full journal here.